


The Bruise Longs for Pressure

by Qais



Series: Where Human Beings Grow Human Souls [5]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Robin (Comics)
Genre: Brooding, Gen, Loneliness, This is before things get better, alas, i must answer, more sad than i expected to write for this series but, when the angst calls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-05 04:02:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17911619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qais/pseuds/Qais
Summary: Dick has yelled at him, Jason is on a trip, and Alfred is away. Bruce isn't dealing well with his memories.





	The Bruise Longs for Pressure

Bruce knows he isn’t a great father, hell, he knows he isn’t even a good one most days. Dick’s yells are still ringing in his ears, and for once Bruce hadn’t been able to pull anything out of his own throat to spit back. It’s harder than it’s been because Bruce had foolishly thought that Dick would always have a line, one that his son would never cross, that Bruce could depend on. And he does, Dick does have a line, he is so so good, and his rebellion and his anger haven’t changed that at all. But Dick doesn’t, can’t, know everything, and the bitterness filling Bruce’s mouth is one of those things that Dick doesn’t know about. 

On the day of his parents’ deaths, Dick doesn’t call or text, pointedly halting his anger momentarily. On the day of Bruce’s parents’ deaths, it is much of the same. But Dick doesn’t know everything about Bruce, can't, the skeletons in Bruce’s closet are more numerous than his son will ever know. The day is dreary and cold and wet and Bruce longs for the desert in that way a bruise longs for pressure. To hurt and to exist and to know that there is something to the body other than its mistakes. The ghost of Talia’s hands on his shoulders is stronger this year, because Dick isn’t there to distract and divert attention to himself. Instead, Bruce sits in his chair, fresh off the phone from being yelled at by Dick, and he stares out the window into the rain. It is the anniversary of when he left the League, and though he’s seen both Talia and Ra’s since then, it is still a cleaving split that aches every year. 

In the quiet of the empty house, Bruce allows himself to think ‘I miss my parents.’ His parents, god. His father would have loved Dick, would have doted on him and coddled him to terrible lengths. His mother would have been so proud of Dick becoming an officer, of his smile and his kindness and his belief in justice. They would have loved their grandchild more than anything, and would know how to convince him that he was loved. Alfred does his best, but the force of Dick’s anger is too much, has been too much for some time now. Jason is a blessing, a son unlike his eldest (though still similar in ways that make Bruce’s heart fill), intelligent and witty and so passionate about everything that Bruce doesn’t know where he gets the energy. 

But the house is empty, Jason is away on a trip and Alfred is on vacation for the next two days. Bruce knows that Alfred keyed into how Bruce always asked him to go on vacation at this exact time every year, but hasn’t said anything, because Alfred is like that. But now Bruce is so painfully alone and he can’t help but miss those days in the desert. It was painful but he was never this alone. And Bruce knows that it’s ridiculous to miss the people that betrayed him, to miss someone like Talia, who hasn’t changed, has probably gotten worse, who didn’t take Bruce’s ‘no’ for an answer last time they met, but Bruce’s entire being feels like its wilting and he longs for anything to fill the emptiness that feels like its been carved in his heart. 

Dick and Haly’s circus had probably saved Bruce’s life, and it stood to reason that losing his son would be the thing that killed him.

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for the angst-fest! But I promise, in this universe, things get better.


End file.
